I think it’s so wonderful that you and your ex spend time together with the children. I think it’s really important for the kids that the parents are relaxed. I have a friend with dicorved parents, but they live on the same street, have dinner together once a week and celebrate Christmas together. Her parents divorce has never effected her. It’s really goo to be friends for the kids’ sake. Great work!
That’s how it is but it’s not easy for everyone. For us, it’s been pretty difficult. If you don’t feel comfortable together it’s better to not spend time together for a while because the children will notice when something doesn’t feel right. Mine and Odd’s relationship has been a roller coaster since we parted ways. Sometimes non-existent, sometimes war, sometimes supportive friends but the goal for us hasbeen to MAKE it work so we both bite our tongue a lot of the times and fight for it.
We try to have dinner together once a month or so and now during Christmas I will be celebrating with Odd’s family. The kids love spending time together over Lucia dinner.
Something I think we both took from couples’ counsellin which we kept going to after the divorce (a good advice!), was that you have to accept that you raise kids differently and that it is impossible to try and influence the other. You have to trust that the other half is doing their best for the kids. Odd and I have had opinions about the fact that there are employees at home and I’ve had opinions about video game choices for a four year but you have to accept it…even if the kids come home with their own hairucts.
The most important thing is that the kids are good and they’ve ben doing good during this period. Both Sally and Gillis are two happy, safe and well-raised kids (I am grateful that Odd and I are the same with that. They always have to say thank you, greet everyone and behave well amongt other adults and sit still at a restaurant) Gillis wants an extra daddy-day sometimes (Sally wants and extra mommy day) and I always let him have that, I’d never make him feel guilty.
Coat Max Mara, shoes and bag Chanel
Anyway, I think Odd and I wll be good friends one day. We started out as friends once upon a time (In our teens). He’ll be the person I call if something happens and vice versa. We’re not there yet but I’m hoping for the future.