I’m so happy to have had the kids for three days, I dropped them off with Odd this morning. As you know, I’m in a process where I’m trying to deal with my past, I’ve opened the lid and there’s a lot to handle. It’s a pretty tough time and I’m at my best when I get to spend time with the kids like yesterday, gather strenght with my best friend. I’m working partly on psychoanalysis and neurogenic shakes. It means that I have two different therapists I see each week. The psychoanalysis and shakes complement each other well, I have a difficult time explaining what the shakes mean but it’s a sort of trauma therapy.

It took 27 years to gather enough courage to work on it and be brave enough to open the lid. I’ve been wanting to open it before but only to pour down chlorine and start over. Rinse. I’ve learned that if I do it that way I can’t understand why I feel as I do or act in certain ways. With therapy we help bring up things in my emotionall sewage and discuss it or let the body shake it out. The shakes also bring out memories and porcesses, it’s become my way of going through everything and I bring it up with the psychologist. I’m usually pretty low after each session. After the last shake (happens at home) I thought I would never stop crying. It was just flooding throughout the sessiona nd th eevening. I woke up in the middle of the night from tears. I’m so grateful that I’m brave enough to do this.

Breakfast at home. Today is a bridge day and I have a bit of work to do but also a lot of private things. I did a core-session at the gym, had my makeup done at home, took a telephone conference, an interview before TV4 on Sunday and soon I’m going into town for a manicure and to meet a friend. This evening, Hampus and I are going to visit some friends in the archipelago. Even though it’s tough sometimes I’m pretty happy and having a few days off is perfect.

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