I have one goal with next week – Well, I have a lot of goals but the most important one is to feel like I’m enough. This whole week I’ve been feeling the exact opposite, not good enough with everything. Not enough time with all my colleagues, not given enough time for each company, running in and out of meeting (most people I have meetings with are always surprised about how quick they are. It’s okay with quick meetings but it’s dumb if it feels forced). I haven’t had time to listen to H, I’ve left earlier from a dinner with friends because I’ve been tired, late answering emails, felt a bit absent-minded towards Pingis etc.
Sometimes I see my week as a video game where I need to jump between different platforms and if I get lost at the beginning I miss each platform after that. Everything becomes a bit wrong. I tried to change the pattern when I picked up the kids on Thursday. I started over and took my time with them and I managed it brilliantly, we’ve had a fantastic weekend together. On the other hand I’ve decided not to work these days and I haven’t taken the work-calls I needed to take
Insufficient again. GAH
I went to the gym after O picked up the kids. I decided to really sweat and restart mentally. My usual trick when it gets like this is to create some space in the calendar, cancel everything that isn’t core business and lower the pace to do everything right later. But the tricky thing next week is that I am in London and I can’t really change the schedule. That’s why my strategy is to squeeze in exercise because it makes me strong, make sure I get enough sleep and eat without my phone nearby. I need to remind myself that it’s better to be late but to feel like you have finished. I will miss a few important things in London because I need to pick up my kids later in the afternoon in Stockholm but that’s how it’ll be. The children are a priority. This week’s mantra will have to be that I am doing the best I can and I’m as present as I can be. Rather that than not being there at all.
Puh. Go us! The ones who are fighting with career and children!!