Today the kids and I got a taxi into town to celebrate Emma who turned 30. I wanted to sip a bit of rose in the sun so I chose not to drive. Emma and Linus live on Kungsholmen, exactly where O and I used to have an apartment. It was fun to walk around in the area again. I’m not a particularly nostalgic person and I don’t get attached to places. But the kids and I still went by the park where we used to play when we picked up Gillis from nursery when Sally was a newborn. I sat down on a bench a while when the kids were playing in a wooden car and tried to look back. It was a different life. A lot has changed. My own basic-safety and level of calm. My values honed and softened. I have a different inner circle of close ones. A different daily life. A different economy. No two-ness.
I thought about what’s stayed the same. My love for my kids. My strong joy for life. My enormous goals that excite me. My ability to trust that everything will be fine. Those were the kind of thoughts going through my head.
After the party we had dinner at a nearby restaurant, then we took a taxi home. At home, the kids wanted to cycle for a bit on the street before bedtime. Now I’m having a rerun of Friday evening: shower, reading on the patio. I really love having my own house.