#IsabellaLöwengrip
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Life & thoughts
April 14, 2018 at 11:28 pm

A difficult question

Who am I when I am my best self?

I read the question today and started to ponder it. The question has followed me all day with hoping to finally have an answer to it. Who am I when I am my best self? I have so many different answers. One answer is the force of nature. It sounds very cheesy but when I am balanced it feels like I could move a mountain. That I can handle anything that life brings. It is almost like how I feel when I wake up in the morning (minus the PMS-days..). Anything is possible. When I am my best self the capacity of changing things is very great. I have the strength to get great things to move ahead and forward and I am never afraid for it to go wrong. I pave my own path and that comes natural to me. That is my greatest strength in life and I am very happy when I feel that way. I am grateful for feeling that way most of the time. I guess that is why many great things are happening.

We think Restaurant Agnes has Stockholm’s best ice-cream!

Another answer is who I am as a mother when I am my best self. Here I would answer brave with a lot of patience. I have always been independent with with to small children, even I was married. It may not sound like a big deal going to the supermarket with a 1,5 year old and a newborn, or bring them to work a few days a week during the first few months of their lives. I have never wanted to become isolated as a mother but have learned the children to tag along in my life, wither it is flying to a factory in Milan (Gillis three months old), visting another factory in Spain (Sally five months old) or restaurant visits. It has made them into two cool social kids.

So my best self as a mother is the independent and with a lot of patience. The patience gives me the energy to let the children try things them selves. If they are thirsty, the children knows that they do not just call out for water, instead they get a chair to get up to the sink, fill the glass etc. Glasses have been broken and spilled but it happens. As a mother it is important that they learn to trust their own abilities to fight for what they want, big or small. That the first thought will be “What will I do now” instead of “Ask mommy to do it”. Huge difference.

How am I when I am my worst self? On my job I am forced and in my own world. I can act in affect cause I want things to move along faster and then things go wrong and we have to start again. Thankfully I have colleagues who (almost) always dare to slow things down and speak up when they do not agree. As a mother I can get really scatter brained. The children have learned own their own to sit down and wait on the stairs since they know I am running around like a scatter brained hen before I am ready. They remind me to put the seatbelt on and that they want to bring their stuffed animals when they are going to their father. Sometimes I am like; rules are not everything, if they don’t fall asleep right away they can come downstairs and hang with me in the sofa watching a movie while I am working.

Tonight we got home around eight and then Sally wanted to bicycle, and we were up and outside despite that it was late and way passed bedtime. We stayed out and played until it got dark, my perkiness had probably something to do with the sugar from all that ice-cream. But I am thinking that is not so bad after all. Sure sometimes a brushing of the teeth is missed. So to sum up; my best self: Strong, great willpower to make changes and likes to lift and boost everybody around me. Worst self is that get distracted, scatter brained and sometimes a bit manic.

Who are you when you are your best self? 

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